Divorce & Remarriage - God's Design? (part 4)

Implications
In our world today, we are taught to be our own person, to decide what’s good for us, to do what feels good. And I feel sometimes we Christians and our churches have so bought into the world’s ways of thinking and handling things that we’ve given the authority and power to make life’s decisions to our own senses, feelings and intellect rather than to God and His true and unchanging words. Feelings come and go, but only God’s words last forever. By this, we aren’t discounting the hurt and emotional turmoil that some may have experienced. They are very real. But all the same, it doesn’t make God’s command on this issue less real or less applicable. Homosexuality and abortion, like divorce involve a great deal of emotions. But if they are considered wrong, why aren’t divorce and remarriage, that have even more explicit references and instructions in the Bible, be treated the same?

In making concessions to divorce and remarriage, whether on emotional or other grounds, we are saying that we know better than God. At the same time, we’re telling others that we can take only those parts of the Bible that we like and ignore those bits that we have difficulty with. Not only that, but it also paves the way for more concessions, all based on our human wisdom. Isn’t this what the world’s doing? Everyone has their own standard. What’s right for you doesn’t necessary apply to me. Soon, God’s word is no longer valued and the church ceases to be a light to the world. The Bible in 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Hebrews 4:12 and Psalm 119:105 all speak of the scriptures being God breathed and powerful in judging our thoughts and attitudes. The Bible is God’s wisdom, standard and morality, and therefore should be our guide for life decisions.

Finding excuses will only establish us as hypocrites in the world’s eyes and prevent the furthering of God’s kingdom. As mentioned before, if as Christians we fare worst than non-Christians in our standard and morals, why would any non-Christians want to be like us? After all, they’ve succeeded conforming us and there’s no reason to reverse that position.

Being silent or turning a blind eye to the issue that causes much grief to God and our church today will only exacerbate the problem. We simply can’t afford to stay ignorant to this anymore, not with the state that our churches are in today. For those that are placed by God in a position of influence, there’s all the more concern that they shouldn’t take God’s words lightly, for they’ll be accountable to God. And for all Christians, we have the responsibility as instructed in the Bible to tell our brothers and sisters in Christ if they’re doing what’s not right in God’s eyes (Galatians 6:1).

Are we showing our love for God by obeying His words? (John 14:15, 21, 15:10, 20, 1 John 3:22, 24, 1 John 5:3) Are we courageous enough to obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29) and be blessed by Him as a result? (Luke 11:28) Lets take God’s words seriously by not undermining His authority, showing it in our actions and encouraging one another to do what pleases God.

Let me wrap up with this hymn just came to mind: Trust and obey, for there’s no other way. To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Tolerance and Being Judgemental

It's amazing how there have been so many recent disputes and arguments over the topics of intolerance and judgmentalism displayed by people (and not just Christians) who verbally disagree and question this society's thoughts and actions. This is because there has been great misunderstanding of the definition of “tolerance”. The most logical and correct definition is:

tolerant; to accept the person regardless of their worldview (but not necessarily accepting their worldview).

Now, at this point, you’re probably wondering what I'm on about but let me explain. The modern definition (that will probably seem most correct to you because modern society is being indoctrinated with this false and most misleading worldview) is:

tolerant; to accept the ideas and beliefs of the person, regardless of the validity of those ideas.

Let me explain the difference between those definitions. Accepting someone but not accepting their ideas means that that person may be wrong. Yes, you heard me, the person may be incorrect in what they believe and there is nothing wrong with telling them what they believe might actually be invalid. That’s one of the big no-no’s of modern tolerance, isn't it? Telling someone they’re wrong. The funny thing is, when a person (who believes this misleading definition) calls me intolerant, what they’re really saying is I’m wrong. That’s pretty intolerant, don’t you think? If telling someone they're wrong means we're being intolerant (which is obviously a grievous sin), we can’t tell someone stealing is wrong, because then we are being intolerant of their belief (that stealing is okay). If we can’t tell them that stealing is not okay, then we can’t call the police and get them arrested and send them to jail because it would be intolerant. If tolerance was defined in the modern version, the whole legal system would not be respected because people in the legal system are the most intolerant people of all!

So, as you can see, the modern definition of tolerance is not only impractical but self-refuting (calling someone intolerant makes yourself intolerant). The only logical and practical definition of tolerance is the first that I stated.

An issue closely linked to intolerance is judgementalism. Being judgmental is to pass moral judgment on a person by defining what is morally right and wrong. The problem with this is that not only are we living in a society which does not believe in moral absolutes (which is basically the root of the problem) but judgementalism has a negative connotation attached to it because it relates to intolerance. Most of the time, modern people show “intolerance” by being judgmental. In our society, telling someone they’re wrong registers as a direct and personal attack on them – not on their worldview. They take it as an insult. They think you are not accepting them because you disagree with their beliefs. That’s why people have now reinvented or misinterpreted the words “intolerant” and “judgmental” to make people (who are probably doing the right thing) feel bad because our society believes we are personally attacking them every time we tell them what they believe might be wrong. In any case, it is inevitable that we (as humans) would pass moral judgement because, subconsciously, we all have a moral standpoint. What our society must understand is that there's nothing wrong with pointing out to a person that their worldview may be inconsistent with reality. In fact, it's healthy that we do, so that we'll always keep ourselves in check.

Now you can tell someone they’re wrong and not feel bad about doing so (just so long as you’ve got good reasoning behind your accusation). It’s ironic that the person the world considers the most “intolerant” is actually the most tolerant person of all, and that would be God. No matter how the human race behaves because of our sins, God still finds a way for us to be accepted into His kingdom. Now that's amazing.

Follow up: Keys to Fulfilling Relationships

It was a great day learning about relationships while at the same time fellowshipping with friends. And lunch was lovely too!

It was interesting to hear about how self-esteem plays an important part in our relationships. This isn't something I personally think about much, probably due to how the world portrays it. But the speaker made it clear for us that this wasn't the same kind of self-esteem. We do need to realise our intrinsic worth, in addition to admitting our fallen nature. And we should value our differences, rather than trying to change other people to be like ourselves.

Some other principles from the talk were:

• In relationships, we should be on different boat, but still heading in the same direction. What this means is that for married couples, each individual should remain themselves, while at the same time working towards joint goals with our partners.
• As individuals, we should be able to handle our own problems, rather than relying on our spouse all the time.
• When we argue as a couple, we should remember that we are working towards the same goals.
• Don't keep digging up the past in arguments! Always focus on the present.
• When you have a problem, take turns talking and listening. Don't try to fix the problem then and there, but try to listen and understand each other properly.
• Be authentic about who you truly are. There's no point trying to be someone you're not. If people don't know the real you, they can't love the real you!
  

Divorce & Remarriage - God's Design? (part 3)

Remarriage
On the issue of remarriage, the Bible is clear on the condition in which one could remarry. 1 Corinthians 7:39 and Romans 7:2 said that we are free to marry another if our spouse dies. Likewise, in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 couples who separated are instructed not to remarry. In Romans 7:3, Matthew 5:32, and again in Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11 and Luke 16:18, those who separate from their spouse and marry another person while their spouse is still alive are said to commit adultery. God’s word is loud and clear on this issue, and yet the remarriage rate among Christians in the US according to statistics is a staggering 82% and higher than the 66% among non-Christians. I was told that in Australia, 60% of Christians who divorced remarry.

“God in his forgiveness and love won’t continue to punish a divorcee.”, “God wants us to be happy”, “It’s not for us to judge them but to love and have compassion on them.” or “The spiritual bond of a husband and wife is broken once they’re divorced.” are all common reasons for supporting remarriage. It’s true that God’s nature means that we’re forgiven the guilt of being divorced, but it doesn’t say we’re exempt from the consequences (or cost if you like) for taking that action. God has forgiven our sins and therefore we aren’t punished for that, but we’re bound by the consequences which come with that, and in this case it’s the prohibition of remarriage unless the spouse dies, not to mention other consequences of family, personal and financial issues that may follow.

Of course, I myself had difficulty with what the Bible says at first. Because like some put it, it seems so cruel. But as I thought more about the issue, I began to understand the reasons behind the Bible’s strict stance. If remarriage is an option,

• It encourages non-commitment and reliance on self to solve our immediate problems
• It doesn’t encourage humility, often required in a sticky situation to seek God and think of others better than ourselves
• It forever takes away the opportunity for reconciliation and God’s purpose for marriage.

As for the spiritual bond being broken, I found no mention in the Bible about this. When God established His covenant with the Israelites, it was a lasting promise. Numerous times, the Israelites abandoned God and worshipped other gods and were referred to as adulterers. I wonder if it isn’t similar that, when we place our adoration, love, devotion and commitment on someone else (remarry), rather than the one we originally married, we commit adultery. But we find nowhere in the Bible that indicates the Israelites' rebellion has in anyway broken the covenant or their spiritual bond with God. In the same way, a marriage covenant is an everlasting covenant for the couple who God put together. That one of them decided to end or shift their attention away from the relationship doesn’t make it invalid. Our human law says it’s finished, but in God’s law and design, it doesn’t end until one of them dies.

Divorce & Remarriage - God's Design? (part 2)

Divorce
On the subject of divorce, most people would have heard of Malachi 2:14-16 where God says He hates divorce. In this passage, He also asked his people not to break faith with their spouse because He made them one in flesh and spirit. In 1 Corinthians 7:27, 7:10, married couples are instructed not to separate from each other, it asks that those who are married not to get a divorce. Matthew 19:6 shows that divorce is against God’s will. Jesus said clearly in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 that adultery is the only acceptable ground for divorce. So not getting along, incompatibility or other problems shouldn’t be valid reasons for a divorce.

Many think abuse is a valid reason for divorce. I personally know someone who was in such a situation and was encouraged and supported to go through the divorce process by her church friends. This seems to be a difficult situation, and many Christian counselors would have said that under that situation, it’s ok. I found this issue difficult before, but as I looked into the scriptures, I saw many were persecuted. Ok, you could argue that they’re persecuted for their belief and not applicable in this case. But what about the slaves? Some of them suffered mistreatment from their masters. But they were asked to submit to their masters whether they are good or harsh (1 Peter 2:18). 1 Corinthians 7:28 warns us that those who marry will face many troubles in this life. Jesus also said that there will be troubles and persecution in our lives, but He has overcome the world (John 16:33). He also says we’re to rely on His strength and wisdom and not ours. In James 1:2-4, it says that we will face troubles of many kinds, but to treat those as opportunities for growth and tests that mould our character.

It’s mind boggling to learn that the divorce rate among Christians is higher than non-Christians. According to statistics, in the US, divorce rate within the church is 60% versus 50% among non-Christians. In Australia, 1 in 3 first marriages end in divorce and 1 in 2 second marriages end in divorce. If the only allowance in the Bible for divorce is marital unfaithfulness, and if the high level of divorce we see in our churches today is a result of that, we are in serious trouble. If the high divorce rate isn’t because of that, is it then because of our ignorance, disobedience to God’s commands or something else? Either way, as Christians, we have reasons to be greatly concerned. If we’re no different and in this case worst than the world that we’re trying to witness, you’ve got to ask why even bother to be a Christian, since our witness is powerless and only serve to turn people away from Christ.

Marriage isn’t unlike adopting children into our family. But when things don’t work out as well as we hoped, do we abandon our adopted kids? Divorce is like abandoning our family because we don’t get along with our brothers and sisters or have difficulties with our parents. Marriage relationships are often said to be a mirror of God’s relationship with the church. Is the church today then being pure and holy and acceptable to her bridegroom?

No intelligence allowed!

A new documentary is coming out questioning the dogmatism of Evolution in academia. Scientists and researchers who believe in Creation or Intelligent Design are being ostracised or ridiculed. Some were refused having their papers or works published, or even denied tenure.

'Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed' by Ben Stein questions not whether Evolution is correct on the question of Origins, but how Evolutionists obstruct free inquiry in this area, not allowing people to follow the evidence wherever it may lead.

It is encouraging to see this type of documentary coming out. At least the wider public will be made aware of how Evolution is believed to have unquestionable authority.

Be sure to see it, and start healthy conversations with your friends!

The Church of Oprah

Millions of people around the world religiously tune in to her show everyday. If she recommends a book in her book club, it becomes an instant best-seller. And if she features a product on her show it becomes everybody's favourite. There is no doubt that Oprah has the power to influence. But what kind of influence is it?

On the surface, it seems quite harmless. She advocates love, acceptance, tolerance and second chances. She is all for the poor and the less fortunate of the world. She's keen to help people put their lives back together, and to be the best they can be. Sounds like a Christian message of love, hope and redemption, right? Well, not really. Her very palatable message is fooling people, posing as a substitute for true redemption, found only in Jesus Christ.

Oprah's gosel is a feelgood message about what humans can achieve on their own, through empowerment and realization of their own abilities. It is basically the New Age message of a divine self, or the god within. According to this view, human potential is unlimited! We really can create a utopia for ourselves, living together in peace and harmony. Why? There's no such thing as sin! No need for repentance, no need for Jesus.

It's no wonder her show is so popular. It feeds our pride and confidence in ourselves, ignoring our true need to rely on God. And it fits right into the popular views of our culture, which says that tolerance is the highest of virtue, and the only truth is that there are many truths (relativism).

So what should we do as Christians? Don't buy into it! Be alert and aware. Pray for discernment. Understand the times we live in, and equip our minds. Engage people in conversation, guiding them gently to the truth. Stand strong in the true message of Christianity, which is that salvation comes in the name of Jesus only!

Divorce & Remarriage - God's Design? (part 1)

This subject has been on my mind a lot lately. We are all surrounded by people who are in either of the situations or affected by it. And it doesn’t seem to be slowing at all. If any, it’s on the rise. What’s scary is that the church isn’t immune from society’s ills. We too, the bride of Christ, are taking the stand of our world rather than God’s it seems at times.

As I ponder upon the reasons for the state of our churches today, the very fact of Christians getting divorced is very evident. Even Easterfest this year has an extra ticket type, which is for single parent family. I’ve witnessed Christians divorced and remarried and wondered how that impacts their walk with Christ. But recently, my thoughts have been on the role of the church on this issue.

It’s not hard to see many churches today, while not encouraging divorce, are accepting it and not discouraging remarriages that follow. I seriously thought about this a few years back when this subject was brought up in the BSF (Bible Study Fellowship, an intensive bible study group) class that I was attending. They uphold the teaching from the Bible and believed divorce is wrong and remarriage isn’t acceptable. There were group members at the time presenting a counter viewpoint supporting remarriage. I searched through the scriptures and came to the conclusion that indeed divorce and remarriage are not in God’s design and should be avoided.

Marriage
In Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6, Mark 10:9 and Romans 7:2, it clearly tells us that God created marriage, that marriage is a life long union/commitment and that what God puts together no man or woman is to separate or break that bond. In other words, when a man and woman come together in marriage, they promise to be together for a lifetime. It is a contract that they agree before God and friends and family. The contract doesn’t have conditional clauses saying if you feel like you can’t handle the job anymore, or you realized that you aren’t the right person for the job, or you’re fed up by it that you can terminate this contract anytime. In fact, there’s a conditional clause saying if one of the parties chose to dishonour the agreement by abandoning it, s/he will be denied of further privileges to be involved in a contract of the same nature.

Keys to Fulfilling Relationships

We were made to have relationship with God and with one another. Before the fall, we didn't have any relationship problems, either with God or with each other. How things have changed since then!

It doesn't take much to see the effect of the Fall on human relationships. We have all experienced the hurt, the brokenness and the frustration. Thankfully, God didn't just leave us to struggle without help. He has given us His Word and His Holy Spirit to guide us into fulfilling relationships while we are living in this fallen existence.

So what are the keys to those fulfilling relationships? Come to our next event for some insightful answers, drawn from a biblical perspective! The talk will mainly focus on the relationship between a man and a woman, the first human relationship God created. However, the principles will be useful and applicable to other relationships as well.

What: Ignite relationship talk, "Keys to Fulfilling Relationships"
When: Sunday 20/4 after the service
Where: The church house
How: Lunch and talk, fellowship and discussion
Cost: $7 for lunch (including drinks and dessert)

Mark your calendar, and we hope to see you there!

Matt Maher's Free MP3

For this week only, you can listen to the whole album of Matt Maher's new CD "Empty and Beautiful" free on Worship Together's new song jukebox at www.worshiptogether.com/
multimedia/index.aspx.